Well. Some evenings are way more dramatic and entertaining than others. The night my goats pissed on my bed, was that type of evening.
It was a beautiful day in New Chelsea. I had finished working with my clients teaching classes and personal training online. I normally work evenings. Which means I usually don’t stray far or long from the house, my desk, and small training space. I am thoroughly committed to being punctual for my clients. Definitely not a fan of tardiness. However, my evening clients had rescheduled for that evening. Yippie, an opportunity to take in the beauty that our little heat wave has to offer. A hike to our first pond and a swim with our loyal and loving dog, Ghandi.
On goes the swim suit, and running shoes. I packed my tiny back pack with water, a towel, and some handy dandy writing utensils (I have been writing poetry like crazy lately). Off I go up the pond path, to the first pond. After 2 solid hours of swimming (also laughing at the ridiculousness of Ghandi freaking out at the rocks, thinking they are play balls on the bottom of the pond) stretching, sun bathing, balancing and dancing around on the rocks. My soul was full and content with it all, especially the sounds of the loons. Plus, my stomach was growling, it was time to get back home. I gathered Ghandi and my things. Back home down the plum path we went.
I am showered and relaxing with our billion dollar, deck view. Mom comes and sits with me. She knows I have recently made an online friend (who happens to be a guy) who lives a couple hours away. We have not met. We have been talking a lot online and via phone conversations. Which has been great. We have both been through a ton of life transitions the last few months. We all need close friends who understand where you’ve been and where you’re going. And speaking for myself I have yet to have close friends on this island. So talking to a friend from Newfoundland has been a blessing to my mental sanity. However, we just have not met in person. So we agreed we’d hang out for the weekend and get to know each other more in person and he’d come to my place. However, I live with my family. So whoever comes overnight, I need to discuss it with them. As the saying goes, LORD HELP ME!
I took a deep breath at dinner and sucked it up to discuss my friend coming to visit. My son, my Dad and well now, my nephew (who is only here for the summer) all begin to sit down. “I need to discuss something with everyone.” So my son starts in. “What is it you want to talk about with us, huh Mom?” with that cheeky dramatic expression he is so good at. “Well, I just want to let you guys know I have a new friend coming to visit for the weekend, and he happens to be a guy” My son goes “Umm Mom yeah, I am not a kid anymore, I now know what the code for “friend” means. I rolled my eyes at his response. Then he proceeds to ask, “how did you meet this “friend”?” I go, “Online”. His expression was of mild shock. “How do you not know he’s not a serial killer?” Addison, my nephew (who is normally really quite) chimes in, “Yeah how do you not know he’s not the next Ted Bundy?” My mouth drops. How are 17yr old kids who are connected almost at the hip to their phones (well not my sons right now. Because he crossed way too many lines) be asking such ridiculous questions?! I go “well Ted Bundy was Amercian and we are not in America. As far as I know, there has never been a Newfoundland serial killer” My Mom (aka Lola, who, remember already knows about my news) totally has my back and goes “she’s been talking to him for a bit, it’s not like she does not know him” I go “please just be nice to the guy, he’s going through some challenges right now and like me, needs a friend” Kiya goes sure “I’ll just stare at him”. My Dad is very hard of hearing and does not know whats going on. Kiya turns and tells him, “Mom has a a guy friend coming to stay for the weekend.” By this time they all know his background is in carpentry. My Dad’s response, “Please ask him to bring his hammer.” Again laughter and a mild eye roll.
Now, you must be asking yourself. What does this whole thing have to do with my Goats peeing on her bed? Well, I am getting to that. I am cleaning up one of our trailers we have. Like any friend who comes to visit, they need a private place to sleep. But especially in this case, away from my families prying eyes!
At the same time I am also cleaning out my own cabin on the deck, above the cliff. My goats, Holly and Ivy, are having their usually evening social time up on the deck. This is my routine with them, since they feed in the field all day. Evening time is to help keep them social and in touch. That way when the babies (aka kids) come, it will be an easy transition for us being so hands on with them, during birth.
I tie open my Cabin door, pull out the blankets, sheets uncover the bed to steam clean it, etc.
So while the bed is drying from the steam cleaning, I go over to the trailer to do the same thing. MY MISTAKE! In my focus on cleaning, I forgot that goats are like toddlers. They get into everything. While I had my back turned, they went into my room and jumped up on my bed to check out the view and nibble things (like babies and toddlers they explore the world through their mouth).
As soon as I got up onto the deck and realized they where in my little cabin, they had begun to pee on my bed!!!!! “Awwww NO!!! STOP PEEING ON MY BED! ARGGGG.” I dragged them off and booted them out, cursing the whole time. “Frack, I am cleaning things up. I did not want more to clean more!! Bloody hell. My goats just pissed on my bed” There was a lot more cursing and ranting but you get the idea.
My son of course was in his glory, he laughed! Hahaha the goats peed on your bed. “Do you want to get rid of or kill them now Mom?” Me “Ummmm NO. You were a toddler once, and used to pee the bed. I never wanted to kill or get rid of you. You also used to poo your pants and puke, I still did not want to get rid of you!” Anyways his dramatic expressions carried on most of the evening. One of which including him acting (with sound effects) how the goats jumped up onto my bed and peed.
Of course by now, my Mom has also told my Dad. “The goats peed on Lita Mae’s bed. His response hands on his chest, BAHAHAHA and a look of sarcasm goes, “You going to post that on Facebook?” That revved my son up even more. Then to add fuel to the already dramatic family evening. My Dad goes “Does this guy have a boat? You know when a guys single and posts an add. Single man, looking for single woman with a boat. Please send picture of boat.” (The following is essentially Newfoundland Slang for Oh Crap) Lord Jesus and Darn B’y! Give me strength over the next few days.
